Love Is Queer: Triple Threat
by DarkJadedRose
Summary: Logan and Kitty are back in action! New chaos ensues as a lovely new addition to the team makes Logan's life a living hell! Romy, Jott, Kurby, and a billion more!
1. My little Moley!

**Love is Queer:**

**Triple Threat**

**Hi Everyone! Oh my goodness, how much I love and miss you guys!**

**Okay…I'm sure for those who did not experience**

**Love is Queer 1 & 2 are lost or completely grossed out at the**

**idea of Logan and Kitty.**

**But if you give it a chance…you'll find that you like it…**

**just like the many others before you…just like me.**

**If you don't like it though…don't read.**

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**Send me a p.m.**

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**It's not great since it's my first, but it has some pieces of this series**

**pieced together!**

**pm me if you want to and I will send it to you!**

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**that you have shown me in the past.**

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Logan slept fitfully through out the night. He groaned as images of the past kept coming back to his mind. Falling in love with a sixteen year old kid and feeling like a dirty old man. Watching her cry as she said goodbye to him at the airport; her tears staining his face. Kelly Braze, that evil crack whore, luring him into her evil arms and his beautiful girl kicking some serious ass. He kept tossing and turning until he felt the sunshine on his face and even then he could not open his eyes which were too heavy to open. How did things get so complicated for him? But he had to admit that there was a wonderful twist.

He had admitted his love for her after a few years passed and the professor had not messed with his brain…making him think he was a six year old girl…and letting Jean braid his hair. He shivered as he remembered that one time, it would be the last time that he would tell Jamie that Mystique was hiding under his bed. She had also agreed to marry him…under the understanding that they would not be marrying in Vegas, living in Canada with ten kids and him hunting for their food. Well there was always their honeymoon.

He smiled to himself when he felt something come near to his face. Their noses nuzzled and he took in a deep breath, taking in that strawberry scent of hers. He didn't say a word as he felt her little pecks against his cheek and put his large hand behind her small head, bringing her closer to him. He knew that he shouldn't let her come into his room, which was something that she had honestly never done before, something about not compromising her ability to wear a white dress and veil…stupid tradition… He immediately forgot that thought when she started to kiss him on the mouth.

"Honestly darlin' I told ya that ya kissed like Woody Woodpecker…ya should just let me take ya out and give ya some lessons…" He said and when he received no response opened his eyes. There, looking right at him, weren't the beautiful blue eyes that he hoped would greet him every morning in the near future, but the deep purple ones of his arch nemesis! "Aaaargh!"

"I told ya ta stay outta my room ya fire breathin' runt!" Logan yelled aloud, throwing his quilt off his body. There flying about his head was the little purple dragon called Lockheed, the one thing closer to Kitty then he was and he hated it. Lockheed flew closer and raspberried him, flying away as Logan attempted to swat at him.

"Looky here…just cause ya get to sleep with Kitty, an' bathe with Kitty, an' watch her brush her hair, an' shower with Kitty, an' sit on Kitty's shoulder, an' see Kitty nekked, doesn't give ya the right to be in my room. So get the hell out!" He shouted. The poor little dragon gave a soft whimper and flew away. For some reason Logan knowing that this would not be the last of him.

Logan was ready for a shower and went to his underwear drawer to pull out a pair of underpants when he came across a lacy red number mixed with his whites. He cocked his head to the side and peered closely into it before using the point of his index finger and thumb to pull it out.

"What the hell is this?!"

Meanwhile, at the dining room table we see Remy on his knees begging Rogue to reconsider her rejection of his consistent marriage proposals. He was on bended knee, his trench hanging on the coat tree with his cards peeking out of the side. Cards that Rogue prayed her son or daughter would never know how to use. He was in his traditional garments; traditional garments that he knew turned the ladies on. He had on a pair of tight black pants tucked into his boots, boots that made it easier to run…when he was doing his illegal business that he chose not to share due to the 5th amendment. A short sleeved shirt that showed off his muscles, muscles he had worked hard for. But all for nothing because it did not work on the southern beauty.

"Listen Chere, Remy really loves ya…Remy wants ta make an honest woman of his…uh…his….Remy's woman…" Remy told her. Rogue rolled her eyes and sighed heavily. She stabbed her sausage with her fork and looked down at the burgeoning belly before her, a belly that showcased her wonderful midnight activities with the southern homme.

It was all his fault! It was his fault that she was knocked up! No! It was Dr. McCoy's fault! That idiot made that stupid serum! And now she was pregnant! She hated them! She hated them all! They all were out to get her! They all wanted her pregnant and sitting at home! All of them! Jamie wanted her to cook for him! Kitty wanted her to mend her clothes! Scott wanted her to do his laundry! Jean wanted her to have Scott's baby as a surrogate mother so that she wouldn't ruin her perfectly trim figure!

"I hate you all!" Rogue shouted and threw her fork in the air, it barely missed Tabby's head and got stuck in the apple she was about to put in her mouth. She slowly put it down and smiled at the back of Rogue's head. She stood up and walked over to Rogue and patted Remy on the back before getting down on one knee before Rogue, next to him. Remy gave her a smile, silently thanking her for the encouragement.

"Rogue…" Tabby began. Rogue sighed heavily, expecting the same lecture she had been receiving, day after day…night after night…person after person… "DON'T DO IT! DON'T DO IT ROGUE! It will be the biggest mistake of your life! Marriage is a freakin' punishment! Don't do it!"

Remy pushed her and she knocked over to the side laughing, but her laughter was cut short when she heard a sniffle behind her. She groaned when she figured who it had to be. That smell of sulfur was not easily forgotten, not after all of the late night visits.

"Is that vhat you think of marriage?!" Kurt told her, his voice full of pain. "Then…Then..forget it! Ve are through!" he shouted and through at her the man ring that she had brought when he had broken off their engagement a week ago because she had told Jubilee that German was not the most sexiest of languages…she wondered why he was being so sensitive…but she ignored it and instead ran after him.

"Nah baby! I didn't mean it…I was just kiddin', getting' married and knocked up is my dream come true! Really! It is! It's da bomb!" She stopped and picked up a beautiful bouquet of wild flowers he had gotten for her and wiped the corner of her eye before turning to Rogue and Remy. "I ain't cryin', honestly, I'm allergic to flowers…"

Meanwhile Scott walked in on Logan who was still holding the red lacy thong between his fingers. He took in a sharp breath and let out a gasp before walking straight over and ripping away the thong from his hand. He stared at the thong and then at Logan, the thong and then at Logan, the thong and then at Logan. Logan was about to deny it was his until Scott spoke before he could even open his mouth.

"What are you doing with Jeans underwear?!" Scott yelled. Logan took a step back at the sincere look of anger on Scott's face. He was about to explain himself and tell him how sorry he was. It wasn't his fault anyway! It was that stupid Blockheads fault! He kept doing things like that, getting him into trouble and what not! Stupid Blockhead…he would get him, he honestly would. One day he was gonna grab that skinny little neck of his and then…wait a minute…what did he just say?

"How the hell do you know that's Jeans underwear?" Logan growled. Scott yelped and nervously adjusted his glasses before dropping them to the floor.

"I…I mean…I was doing…I was doing laundry the other day and…and…awww man…awww man…I gotta get ready for danger room sessions…" Scott said and sped away.

The youngsters would need a sincere talking to and Logan had to speak to the professor. All of this sleeping around nonsense had to stop, for having a telepath under the roof there were a lot of knocked up kids walking around. All these kids getting married and what not or not getting married…because they don't want the responsibility even though they were already knocked up, he sure had to speak to that one. And besides…if he wasn't getting any then no one else would either!

During Logan's mental escapade his beautiful definite girlfriend/sorta fiancée was underneath a hot shower soothing her muscles. The X Men where lucky enough to skip the danger room session that morning since Logan had apparently _forgotten_ to set his alarm; that was there story and they were sticking to it. She was so exhausted because of the battle the evening before. Apparently the Brotherhood hadn't changed since she had been away. It was already two months since her return, since Kelly's attack, and she was still stuck with battling those annoying High schoolers…well they were in college now, surprisingly so. But Lance, Fred, Todd, Pietro and even Wanda had continued on into the Bayville community college continuing the saga they thought they would leave behind at graduation.

The second her skin began to prune up, Kitty realized that it was time to step out of the shower. She shut the shower off and reached out to get her purple fluffy towel but couldn't seem to find it. When she felt it rubbing her hair dry, she sighed as it deeply massaged her scalp. This time he was hitting all the right spots. He always knew where to get her and where she was sore. Her body still adjusting to the battles and erratic sleeping methods. She sighed heavily once again.

"Ahhh Lockheed!" Kitty said softly. "Thanks sweetie pie!"

Kitty turned around to pet her favorite little dragon when all she saw was a large hairy arm holding her towel. Her scream echoed through out the school and the hand dropped the towel and tried to cover her mouth. She screamed harder as she phased through the arm and the shower curtain picking up the towel and covering her body. There standing before her was her definite boyfriend/maybe fiancé even though he did ask her to marry him and she did say yes but they were supposed to take their relationship slowly.

The door was blasted open and a large red beam hit the wall on the left side of Logan's face, leaving a large hole. Kurt teleported in and shielded Kitty with his body while Storm and Dr. McCoy ran in from a short distance. Peeking through the large hole in the wall were the former new recruits trying to see if they were needed. In the distance you heard a huffing Rogue cursing Remy and the whole world off for her condition.

"I believe Logan…that Kitty was able to take a shower by herself before you arrived. Her parents took the time to teach her how to dry herself off," Xavier announced. No one heard anything but a soft snicker and they looked about wondering who the idiot was, knowing that Logan would tear a hole in their gut. In flew the lovely Lockheed who landed on Kitty's bare shoulder and it looked like it had given Logan a smile.

"Okay students…time to leave and Logan…feel free to follow me to my office. I have an important assignment I'd like you to take on. That is…if you aren't too busy at the moment," he said dryly.

Logan gave him a growl and continued on bumping into Rogue on the way. She gave him a glare before he could mutter an apology and hoped that it was not just mood swings that were making her behave that way. He could not stand mood swings. He honestly was not going to put up with such nonsense when he knocked Kitty up.

"Logan…" Charles said aloud. "Please stop referring pregnancy to getting knocked up. I don't think people appreciate that very much."

"Stay outta the noggin' Chuck. Ya know how I feel 'bout that," he warned. They finally reached his private office and Xavier rolled his eyes.

"Well…it seems you haven't been in much control of your thoughts lately. And after you go do the assignment I have for you, I believe a _talk_ is in need of," Charles said. As the head of the school he had to ensure the safety of his students, and aside from that he did not think Kitty's parents would appreciate her walking down the aisle in a maternity gown.

"What's the assignment Chuck? Rescuin' mutants? Kicking Mystique's face in? Savin' the world?" Logan asked, ready for anything, wanting to get his hands on something that he could pretend was that purple fireball.

"No…I need you to take Rogue to her appointment…" Charles said quietly, Logan was his last hope.

"Hell no! I'm not takin' that kid anywhere. She's ready to blow anybody's head to bits and I don't plan on bein' one of 'em," Logan said adamantly.

"Don't make me tell her you said that…" Charles threatened. Logan glared at him and went to put on a descent pair of clothes; he was in for a very dangerous ride. That kid sure had good aim and even with that belly she knew how to beat a guy up. Poor Bobby revealed this to the mansion the hard way, no more experiments on whether dipping someone's hand in cold water causes labor.

He sat down in the soccer mom van with Rogue who was complaining the whole time on how much of a jerk Remy was. The conversation went on and on as she described all of the things he did. He liked to drink wine with spaghetti, he liked to wear tight pants, he always wanted to refer himself to the third person. At that Logan got annoyed and turned to her when they reached a red light.

"Listen kid, ya had no problem with that before…why now?" He asked her roughly. "Ya keep complainin' on what a horrible guy he is an' all that but he was the one guy who stuck by ya even though ya couldn't touch nobody. What's the problem wit him? He wants ta marry ya and give ya his name…what more do you want from him? His soul?"

At that Rogue began to cry heavily and Logan felt bad for having given it to her so hard. He pulled over and gave her a hug and tried to deal with the situation as best as he could. She began to sputter something through tears, and coughs and other disgusting segments. When he handed her a tissue she blew into it rather hard.

At the same time Kitty was sitting in the kitchen eating some cornflakes while Remy gave his own complaints. It all revolved around Rogue's refusal to marry him and how with her pregnancy she gets more moody day after day and he could not understand why she wouldn't want to marry a guy like him due to how sexy he was. Through out this time Remy, Rogue, chere, Remy, chere, Rogue was all that was mentioned.

"Well," Kitty said, interrupting him. "Maybe you should try to use your actions to prove to her that you deserve it. I mean…if I was dating a guy who stole for a living, wore tight pants and thought that putting charged cards in Scott's underpants drawer was appealing, I'd check myself in."

Remy thought hard and then looked at Kitty with a sad look in his eye.

"What should Remy do den Kitten?" Remy asked. Kitty cocked her head to the side with a soft smile. The Cajun had truly won her affection with his persistence of winning Rogue's heart.

"How about Remy go to the doctor's appointment…just show up and show your support. Don't mention marriage till later…" Kitty said, her soft blue eyes dancing. Remy returned her smile and his little dimple appeared at the corner of his mouth again.

"That's perfect Kitten, Remy will do just that," He said and they stood up both ready to go to their respective places. "And…Remy promises to never tell anyone of that cute little birthmark on Kitten's left butt cheek."

"Dude!" Ray said, when he noticed Remy stumble out of the kitchen. "What the hell happened to your face? You need to get some ice on that before your head is too big to walk out the door."

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**Yay! My first chapter! And surprisingly…I think it was pretty good!**

**But that's for you to say, feel free to review, constructive criticism accepted.**

**Flames are merely returned or…used to roast marshmallows!**


	2. Pregnancy is a Beeyatch!

**The Uncanny R-Man, lovestoread, Evilerk, taigh01, PoisonSkin, ingridmr**

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After Rogue's cry fest, Logan continued to make his way to the doctor's office. He listened as she shared a little bit of her concerns over the relationship. He began to wonder about his own and whether or not he was doing things right. The last thing that he wanted to do was to lose Kitty again over some ignorant behaviors. But he trusted in Kitty's ability to tell him what she thought without holding back, whether he liked it or not. He decided that night he would take her out and show her some affection; the whole pulling out the chair and opening the door thing. But where would he take her? Who could he speak to about such a highly complicated station?

"Make a right Logan," Rogue said, interrupting his thoughts. He made a right and Rogue walked into the obstetricians as she held her beautiful belly, Logan on the other hand gingerly peered about the door and winced at the thought of being surrounded by so many moody women. He took a seat as Rogue went up to the secretary and let her know that she had arrived, she sat back down beside him and gave a heavy sigh. He attempted to ignore it after three more sigh's he figured she was trying to say something.

"What is it Stripes?" he asked as calmly as possible without giving in to the urge of pulling the baby out himself. She looked up at him and for the first time while mentioning Remy's name, her eyes went soft. He figured he was going to hear something important and knew that she was going to take an important step. He quietly waited for her to speak.

"Logan…ah love Remy and ah wanna be with him, but ah think that we're just too different ta make it work. Ah know he loves the baby but ah think the only reason he wants ta be with me is cause ah keep sayin' no. So ah'm kinda scared that the moment ah tell him ah wanna be with him, the ride is over, ya know?" She looked down at her gloved hands, hands that needn't be gloved but that out of habit was covered. He sighed heavily and put an arm around her, he looked at her while she continued to look at the floor.

"Ya know that I wouldn't say somethin' untrue about anyone, right?" at her sigh, he continued. "Kid, he's a good guy. Ya can't ferget how he came through fer you these past few years."

"Ah know Logan…ah know…" Rogue's ears perked up when they called out her name. She turned to Logan and gave him a soft smile. "Ya comin' in?"

"Hell no," he replied simply. She gathered her things and walked into the office. Logan looked about the room to see if he could find a good magazine. All he found was a book… 'Hmmm,' he thought to himself, 'What to expect when you're expecting.' He opened it to the middle of the book and after staring at plenty of engorged breasts; he closed it up quickly and threw it across the room. It narrowly missed the secretary's head but when she saw the large, fear-filled eyes of the scary man, she sent a soft smile. Looks like that had happened before.

Meanwhile, Rogue was throwing a pleasant fit as she saw Remy seated in the doctor's chair and the window wide open. She crossed her arms and gave him a glare while he politely smiled at her; quickly he stood up and made his way towards her. They looked at each other warily but she caught her breath at his sudden movement. He didn't say anything as he grabbed her chin and passionately kissed her, with no worries about her powers. He would soon thank McCoy for strengthening the serum every day.

"Can I stay?" he asked her. She almost said no but the nurse had just entered and began to set up the system. When she saw the instruments she grew nervous and grabbed his hand tightly. He held it as the nurse poured some ultrasound gel on her belly. The bottle made a bit of a farty sound that gave Remy the giggles which drove Rogue nuts but when she saw the image on the screen, his giggles cut short. They looked at the screen and saw the spinal cord, like a strand of pearls and the ten perfect fingers, the ten perfect toes and…

"YES! YES! YES!" Remy began to shout. He ran out of the room and started to yell at the people, forgetting the fact that his eyes were less then human. "It's a boy! Remy's havin' a boy!"

Logan turned over to see Rogue rip a paper towel off and place it on her face. He laughed to himself and wondered if she would ever get over her monstrous state. He didn't know many pregnant women, but he was sure that none of them acted this way. Honestly, why did they have such bad attitudes anyway? Carrying a baby could not be that bad. His thoughts were quickly interrupted.

"Reed! Reed! Leave me the hell alone! This is all your fault, you evil conniving bastard! If you wanted me to be a housewife, you should have ASKED!"

Logan looked behind him and saw a very important couple walk in. He gave a half-smile as Reed Richards shoulders fell slightly forward. The man's face was weary as his wife's voice grew higher and higher in pitch. One would have thought that after a baby, Reed would have known what to expect but apparently not. He gave a wave when Reed noticed him from across the room and Reed waved back before his wife made her way to the obstetrician's office. The door slamming in his face was enough to send him over to Logan and slump next to him.

"Don't tell me the great Wolverine actually settled down enough to have a baby?" Reed Richards asked. He smiled when Logan scoffed at the idea.

"Not in a million years, Mr. Fantastic," Logan spit out until he saw Rogue walk out of the doctor's office. At that moment she was rubbing her big belly with a smile and made her way over to the men. Reed peeked at Logan through his peripheral vision and Logan's nostrils flared. "Not mine Stretch!"

"Logan, ah think ah'ma hitch a ride with Remy. Is that all right?" Rogue asked with love in her eyes. Logan questioned how long that would last but figured it would be okay. He saw her leave the office and Remy pull up on a motorcycle. Logan stood up to catch her but they were gone in seconds. He sighed as he sat back down and sent a silent prayer of protection for those numb nuts.

"So what are you guys doing here?" Logan asked, finally realizing that their home was in Central City, California. They had visited only a few years back to due one of the Mutant legislations but aside from that they usually stayed on their side of the coast.

"We're here on vacation, or supposed to be, but we actually got interrupted after having been led to believe that Von Doom holds a secret society here in New York. We have a problem since Susy obviously is in no position to fight and our beloved Johnny just broke his arm a week ago after a silly stunt. He's actually on his way to Xavier's with Franklin and Grimm. We figured we'd ask the X-Men if they could help us with this project," Reed finished.

"Ya know that we live for this stuff Reed. Are you guys stayin' at a hotel?"

"Yes, as a matter of fact we were going to drop off our things at the hotel after we spoke with Xavier," he said, attempting to be non-intrusive.

"Yer so smart yer stupid," Logan said and shook his head as he stood up. "Yer stayin' with us. Say hi to Susy and get yer asses over there a.s.a.p. I wanna know 'bout this secret society."

"Will do Logan, will do. It's very good to see you friend," Reed said and patted him on the back. They shook hands and parted ways, ready to go to their destinations; Logan home and Reed attempting to re-enter the doctor's office. Reed wondered if his wife's tortures would ever end.

Meanwhile, Kitty had spent the entire morning and half her afternoon, attempting to avoid the people in her house. After that morning's fiasco, she honestly didn't want to face them. Luckily for her she still needed to something to wear for her evening date with Logan. He had called her that morning to let her know he would be taking her out for dinner and Logan being romantic was not something she was willing to pass up. She sighed heavily as she opened the garage door and almost stepped on a crawling baby.

"Hey buddy," Kitty said and bent down to pick him up. She turned around and found herself face to face with a huge orange rock. She felt herself sinking straight through the floor but when the rock spoke to her, she immediately pulled herself back onto the surface.

"Hey kid, it's all right," he said to her. He held out his hand to her which she shook, still holding the baby close to her body. "The name's Ben Grimm…ya know, from the Fantastic Four?"

At that Kitty released her held in breath and gave him a large smile, her blue eyes twinkling. She had heard plenty of stories about their Cali counter parts but had yet to meet them. She looked at the baby in her arms and passed him back, he was radiating a bit of energy against her chest. She stood back and checked out the red convertible that rivaled Scott's baby.

"So, is he yours?" she asked. Ben shook his head as he cooed to his little godson.

"Not at all, this is Reed Richards son, Franklin Benjamin Richar-," he got interrupted by a blonde young man with a sexy grin.

"Mr. Fantastic to you and Johnny Storm…better known as…the Human Torch," he said and gave her a cocky look. She sighed as she thought of the rest of her cocky team mates and wondered if all mutants and/or mutated persons where susceptible to that attitude when their mutations had acted out.

"Well isn't that lovely…" she murmured and rolled her eyes at Ben who gave her a soft chuckle. There went Johnny's plan of seducing every young woman living under the X-Men facility. They made their way up to speak to Xavier, who had been expecting them and just hoped that Franklin wouldn't let out one of his little surprises while they were there.

Kitty continued on to her room and rolled her eyes at the thought of having to deal with another male in the house. She passed by Logan's room giving his door a soft smile and felt stupid at her behavior. She was on her way towards her room when she felt herself get tugged into a hall closet. She looked up to find her boyfriend/sort of fiancé a few inches away from her. He wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her into him which she absolutely didn't mind.

"Hey darlin'? How was yer day?" he asked. She didn't say anything as she continued to lovingly stare up at him. The behavior made him quite uncomfortable since he was accustomed to not being appreciated by women, more often he was devoured by them. She went on her tippy toes and gave him a soft kiss before setting herself back into position. She tasted of bubble gum and he tried to ignore the fact that it tasted kind of good…in fact he should really ask her what brand she brought because sometimes he really hated that nasty winterfresh that seemed to always be hanging around.

"Where are we going?" Kitty asked. He didn't reply and instead bent down, fervently grasping her chin. She didn't speak as he seemingly engulfed her soul with his searing kiss. She wasn't sure of what to do but opened her mouth in response and alternated between suckling his upper and lower lip. His light growl gave her confidence and she ran her fingers through his soft hair, pulling his towards her. The next thing she knew a large wave of light overtook them and she pulled away, stepping out of the closet.

"Nice to know that sexual behavior is supported in this place," a blonde girl said. "Where's Professor Xavier's office please?"

"I'm actually goin' there now, blondie. I'll take ya there," he said and gave Kitty a sexy look. She blushed at the intensity of his gaze and looked at her hands, perhaps she had gotten a bit carried away. She let them go on their way and continued on to her bedroom. She had to begin getting ready for her evening escapade, she only had five hours to get dressed to impress. She entered her bedroom and looked at a tiny note on her table; she would be rooming with an Emma Frost…what kind of name was Frost?

About two hours later Logan was grumbling as he exited the Professor's office. After quickly speaking to Emma regarding her stay, Xavier had developed a whole set of rules for Logan to follow as an example to their other students. There would be a meeting the next day regarding the promiscuity going on in the facility. The new mutants, who were not so new anymore, needed to have better examples and they would have to be the ones to give it. He would begrudgingly lead the conference.

He entered the kitchen to find Reed and Remy discussing life before pregnancy and happily let his mind drift off to what his life would be when Kitty and he finally got hitched her pregnant with his kid would be a piece of cake:

_Kitty walked into their little cabin in Canada (which he still believed that he would get) with a huge belly filled with triplets. She gave him a searing kiss before removing her clothing and plopping into a metal tub in the middle of the room, hot only because of water she had boiled on top of their little stove. He followed her by plopping right with her in the tub and the water spilled over a little, which they both smiled about. He leaned forward and kissed her._

In reality, he was sitting at the table, unable to get up due to a standing ovation. He continued on with indescribable scenes of passion running through his head, unknowing to him that someone else was having a completely different vision of their future.

Kitty had just finished showing her new room mate her side of the room before taking out her blow-dryer in order to fix her hair. Embarrassment not eluding her! Her mind wandered into the loving future she would hold with Logan. A beautiful daydream indeed:

_Kitty entered their room at the top of the institute with the beautiful skylight that Xavier had built in as one of their wedding presents. There stood Logan with their baby in his arms as he fed the baby through a fake breast on his chest, filled with her natural milk. Logan began to murmur to the baby such phrases as 'oogey boogey woogey' or 'ashashashashasha'. She then walked over to him and left her briefcase by her office desk as she gave him a soft peck on the lips and they looked at the baby. Logan was such a great at-home mom!_

Logan's fantasies where interrupted when Susan Storm Richards walked in with baby Franklin in her arms and Ben holding a dirty diaper in his hands. Logan grimaced at it as his nose became filled with baby filled excretions. Susan sat down on the chair across from him and without question handed him baby Franklin. He awkwardly adjusted the baby's head in his arm and smiled sourly as the baby let out some spittle.

"Logan?" Susy began. "Where's Johnny?"

Meanwhile, as Johnny Storm settled into the guest room, he heard a rumble in his room. Opening the closet door, he found nothing and cocked a brow in confusion. He then heard some noise in his drawers and opened the first one to find a pair of dark green panties. He found a pencil and picked up the panty to find a little purple dragon snuggled up in sleep. It opened its eyes and looked up at the blue ones of the young man standing above him. It almost seemed as if they smiled at each other.

"So little buddy," Johnny began. "Did you get these? And if so…where can we get some more?"

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	3. Sex talk, Panty Raids and a Visitation

**Thank you everyone; you know why…since I'm not allowed to say!!!**

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The next day required all of the students to gather together in the conference hall for a specialized meeting announced the day before during an impromptu dinner. Involved in the conference at the lead table along with the Institutes head staff, were guest Sue and Reed Richards and Benjamin Grimm. The last of the Fantastic Four team, Johnny Storm sat between a pregnant Rogue and an icy Emma Frost, glaring at a young man dressed in black and red across from him. The rest of the youngsters stared intently at the manila folder that each one held in their hand, unsure of what the conference would hold. But a strong hush overcame them all when Logan took the stand.

"G'mornin' kids. Uh, we're here today cause Chuck here decided that all of ya's need a sex talk. He figured that I was the one to give it to ya since 'pparently I'm the one with the most experience in this area," Logan said seriously and glared at Johnny for snickering while receiving a glare from Sue and Ororo. "First off I just want the new students ta introduce themselves to the class. G'head kid."

"The name is Johnny Storm, but you ladies…you sweet ladies can call me Torch," Johnny said and set his arm ablaze. The girls 'oohed' and 'ahhed' as he stood there looking as attractive as possible, the next thing he knew all of the girls were standing and up and screaming his name. His eyes widened as he saw them collapse at his feet as they ripped their clothes off to shreds. He thought of all the teacher sin the room and wondered if he would ever be able to overcome his sexual prowess, he knew it would follow him! "Oh snap!"

"Elizabeth Braddock!" Professor Xavier said loudly. Johnny turned at the sound of his voice and saw that everyone was seated at their seats while he was sweating profusely and, well, giving the women in the room a standing ovation. What had just happened here? "Please, do not use your powers to manipulate the student's minds!"

Elizabeth glared at Johnny while he took his seat, rather embarrassed and gave her a mean glare, what had he done to her? He then looked across from him and saw the guy in the ninja suit with a cocky looking smile on his covered face. Elizabeth took advantage of the moment and decided to introduce herself next. Her purple hair grazed her butt and her jet black eyes glared menacingly across the room as she positioned her body in a solid stance, the red marking surrounding her eye flaming red.

"The name is Elizabeth Braddock," she began, her British accent countering her oriental appearance. "But you can call me Betsy. I have telepathic abilities that far outweigh the physical inanities of my fellow peers." She took a seat and ignored the glare she now received from Johnny who had already concocted a plan to get her back, but he would have to keep his shields up. These were not normal people. On the other side of the table was another conniving genius who adored the attention of the femme fatale, unbeknownst to Johnny, he would be a savage threat to his self-proclaimed hotness.

"Leaders, hotties, geeks and my fan-fiction readers, the names Wade Wilson and my powers are just like Wolvie's over there, except I'm not as ugly," said the merc with a mouth. He gave them all what seemed a grin behind his mask and looked straight at all of the girls in the room. He pictured them all in Playboy bunny outfits and gave a strong grin. "This is gonna be party city folks and I'm gonna make sure that we rock till the panties drop."

"Betsy! What did I tell you?" The professor said to her, extremely uncomfortable with the images that their new student was projecting. He received a shocked and embarrassed look from Betsy as she looked about confused. She furrowed her brows and crossed her arms in upset.

"This time Professor, rest assured that those images were his every own," Betsy said with disgust in her voice. She swallowed heavily as she saw her teammate take a seat while still looking at her with a pervasive stare, well, she assumed it was since she could not really see his face. She tried to ignore him as they continued about the room, just a few more and the introductions would be over it.

"Mah name is Paige Guthrie, Ah'm Sam's little sister and what ah do has no limits," she said as she ripped the top layer of her face off. After several screeches and shrieks later, everyone realized she still had a face. She quietly sat down and decided to save the rest of her performance when they got over the initial shock. She looked over at her brother who gave her a thumbs up sign and felt much more comfortable, her brother liked to tear down walls, she'd be all right.

"All right guys, let's finish this up since I'm the last of the bunch here," said a brown eyed girl, her wavy brown hair pulled up in a ponytail. She had a heavy urban accent as her nostrils flared with every bit of attitude she expressed. "My name is Anya Corazon, not Ana, Anya. I'm practically a spider-man bite off and can do whatever it is he does 'xcept I got a hot exoskeleton." She allowed her body to be enveloped in the armor that hid the best of her womanly aspects much to the chagrin of one of the students in the room but proved her point, being that it was definitely hot.

After the wary introductions, Logan decided not to ever allow the students to speak throughout his little lesson. He glared at each of them to scare them into silence but his eyes settled on his future wife. She angelically stared up at him with serious blue eyes as she sat there unknowing of what topic he would be bestowing upon the poor children of the institute; those who were getting some, trying to get some or just plain plotting their course of action. He coughed into his hand then adjusted his papers.

"All right, now lemme tell ya somethin'. The professors really gettin' mad cause some of you guys that can't keep your zippers zipped. If we find any of you's in a room that ain't yers, we're gonna make sure you can't ever use yer junk again," Logan said, pointing at them all. "So, if ya look in the package yer gonna see a list of what yer allowed ta do if yer not married. Bobby please read aloud to the class."

"Ahem," began Bobby. "One, you can hold hands. Two, you can kiss on the cheek."

"Continue Robert," Ororo said after a long pause. She had been sitting there for a full minute as he looked at all of them, his paper placed back on the table and a scowl across his face. "Please."

"No…really that's it," he mumbled to the rest of the students. The youth turned quickly at the professor who glared at Logan. He had asked him to develop a list, apparently Logan thought that they would be the only ones who would suffer, and he would correct the misconception. There was no reason for the students to feel as if they are being obligated to do something that was not being exampled by their teachers. The professor tapped in the table to get the attention of Logan and the rest of students.

"Students, Logan failed to mention his own personal decision of remaining celibate until his own marriage with one of my prized students, Kitty Pryde," the Professor announced. "He will also be following the rules he had created, so that he will show you that we can do this." The whole room stared at Logan who had suddenly gone pale; would he really be able to make it that long? The silence was deafening but it would not last long.

"Soooo," Wade began. "While we're here, we're not gonna get any ass?"

"Wade Wilson!" The professor shouted, affronted. Why had he decided to invite these additional students to his facility? He was such a softie.

"What?!" Wade said, "I'm just askin'. I mean we're supposed to feel free to be ourselves, I don't want Big Willy to fall off due to lack of use. It needs to be exercised every once in a while."

"He does have a point…" Emma said, looks of shock going her way. The poor Richards family suffered the observation of such behavior in a school for gifted youngsters; Ben on the other hand was getting a kick out of the situation. "I mean, many of us are grown enough to get a little action," she said sexily, looking over at the young man with the ruby glasses. She received a glare from what looked like a whiny red head and shrugged her shoulders towards her; to each his own.

"Now look here," Ororo Monroe said, her eyes paling into white as lightning began to strike in the room. "There will be no sexual contact between anyone in this place unless they're married."

"Uh, what 'bout Remy and his Cherie? He already made it pretty hard for her to, uh, ya know, get pregnant."

"If I catch you touching her Mr. LeBeau, you won't be able to have any more children. I'm serious; I don't want any of you students or teachers, to break the rules of this school."

"Yes Ms. Munroe," the students and adults said in unison, even Logan participated. No one could stand it when the weather witch became angry; many a days have passed when their electricity had accidentally been blown. They all were dismissed and sent to their rooms to reflect on what had been spoken about. But there was a silent messenger who no one would ever be able to track and no one had forced him to make any promises that he was bound to break. This was the bad boy of the X-House and he roamed the halls with the power that only came from being who he was, Lockheed baby.

Lockheed made his way over to his partner's room with a few presents that would indeed allow them to become rich beyond compare. He settled on Johnny's shoulder as the young man went to his website and checked on the invoices that had been received. Only one day having opened is new site titled "X-Angels" and already he had a thousand hits. It was awesome; he had already received ten online payments for ten of the wonderful packages he would be shipping out tomorrow. But something in the corner of his search engine he found something suspicious. He clicked on the link and was taken to a separate page. In large green letters the words "Mutant Babes" was scrawled across the screen.

He yelped loudly, the site had been hit three million times and its opening date had just been a few days before. He looked over at Lockheed whose usually lazy purple eyes had grown one hundred times larger as he shrugged. He slowly flew away as Johnny shook his head, nah, that little mite would not cheat on him. He was a faithful little alien. He would just have to do better and improve his site; no one would conquer his goal of monopolizing the mutant panties business.

Meanwhile, Ororo was looking into the laundry bag to see if she could find her favorite blue underwear. They were nowhere to be found. She was mildly irritated since it had been new set that came with a matching bra but she decided to speak to Wade Wilson. He had been placed in charge of laundry duty since he had arrived just a week before and she assumed that he felt uncomfortable with doing the girls undergarments, perhaps he had placed it in a separate bag. Regardless, he would need a talking to since it was his duty to do what he had been proposed to do.

She left the laundry room in search of Kitty to tell her very important news. Her parents would be flying in that weekend to finally meet the man she was going to marry. She took in a deep breath and knocked on the large wooden door. The blonde ice queen opened it up and let her in before going back to her Victoria secret magazine. For now Emma could not afford to buy such sexy lingerie but she swore that one day when she became of age she would wear them every chance she'd get. She already bought the boobs to go with the outfits; all that was left was the display section.

"Hello Kitty," Ororo said and sat down on the brunette's bed. She gave a warm smile to one of her loved students.

"Hey Ms. Munroe, what's up?" she asked sweetly. She pulled her long brown hair into a high ponytail and adjusted the ring on her finger, twisting it about as if making sure it was still there.

"Honey, your parents are coming up this weekend. They just spoke to the professor and decided that perhaps they should get to know your fiancé," she said quietly. Kitty perked up in excitement and such amazing news. She knew that Logan and her parents would get along just well. She grabbed Ororo's hand and squealed in delight.

"This is totally cool! Oh my gosh! My mom is so gonna wanna see my dress. Will you come with me to pick it up tomorrow?" Kitty asked kindly, hoping for an opinion from one of her trusted teachers.

"Of course I would love to come!" Ororo answred, quite pleased to be asked to come along. She was sure Rogue and Tabitha would be joining them and decided to make it a women's luncheon. They would all be able to speak to their sweet and innocent young kitten about what is bound to happen on the eve of her wedding. Poor soul, Ororo was not sure how endowed was Logan but she was positive that it would be a horrendous experience for their poor little girl. It was time to tell Kitty of the birds and bees.

"Then tomorrow we'll go, it'll be great. I have so much to tell you regarding the wedding and I need a mature adult's opinion," Kitty said.

"Yes Kitty, we have much to speak of…"

Meanwhile, a hand exchange occurred in the mansion. No one knew who they were or what they planned to do, but they promised to succeed in their evil plans of world domination. No one would ever find out. No one!


End file.
